How to Give a Bad Talk Talk

So you want to learn to talk badly? You've come to the right place. On this fine web page you will find authentic original material (shamelessly stolen from Dave Patterson, then slightly modified to avoid lawsuits) on the fine art form of poor public speaking. You might apply these lessons anywhere, from lecturing your children to lecturing your class, and might even find them useful in developing your conference talks, for which they were originally designed.

Check out these fine products (patent pending):

• Stage Directions
• Outline Notes (PDF)
• Sample slides (see stage directions):
  • Slide 2 (PDF, data set)
  • Slide 4 (PDF)
  • Slide 5 (PDF, gnuplot script, data set 1, data set 2)
  • Slide 6 (PDF, xfig 3.1 figure)

Related material:

• Speaking Tips (PDF)
  WARNING: The General Surgeon has declared these tips to be devoid of satire and potentially harmful to your sense of humor or lack thereof.